Aspirations of health...

Eight minutes! Good thing I have 10 months to get ready.

Test...this is only a test people...rrr I mean person

oh my what have I done? I don't know...did it work?

Aspirations of health...

As the one, maybe two of you that read this know, I have done an insane thing. I committed to my brother to run on his team next october. My husband is going to run to. So we invested in some good shoes and started training. This is my first real week of training. I am following the "training for novices" schedule on the Ragnar website. I decided today that I am going to blog each day, twitter style (gag), my progress. This is more for me than anyone else. I want to see my progress so that I can keep perspective and the goal in mind.

No excuses. I have a year. I will need the year.

Today- 15 minutes on the treadmill - ran for 6 of it. Longest run of my adult life.

ONE!!!

Dear Kaylee,

Holy cow! When did you become one? I sit here and contemplate the last year and I am amazed that it went by so quickly. It always does. People say that all the time..."they grow so fast"...and the fact is...they do. You are a great big one year old...and I am quickly losing my baby.

I know almost every parent has to accept that when they have a baby, they only have that baby for a very short period of time. Babies become toddlers, toddlers become kids, kids become teenagers, etc... It is the rules of being a parent. That is why, on the rare occasion I get asked advice about having a baby, I always tell the person to wait until they want a kid, because the baby part is such a short part of the life you will create. And frankly, while baby is cute, toddler to kid rocks!



It is so unbelievably fun to see you learn; to see the curiosity in you as you have figured out how to sit, then crawl, then pull yourself up and walk around things. Books are your best friend and you will sit for long periods of time turning pages and pointing out the pictures. You love to sit in baskets. Laundry baskets are like little ships to you. We put you in with a blanket and a few books and you will sit a read. Your brothers think it is great fun to take you for rides in the baskets. You giggle and jabber the whole time. Playing with you is so much fun, because you LOVE to play!

You love to boogie! Which makes sense given your genetics. Daddy loves music and always prefers to listen to music while doing anything. Mom and Dad will often dance in the kitchen while making dinner or cleaning. The big kids join in and you have found your groove lately too! All of the toys that you got for your birthday play music and you will dance along with any or all of them as they play. It is really quite cute! For the moment these toys aren't driving Mom or Dad completely insane...simply because they make you so happy! So, Grandma Porter isn't in trouble for buying you the really really really annoying talking/singing mail box.


The last few months, and your ability to crawl and walk around things, has accelerated your desire to be with and like the big kids. You always want to be where they are and play with them. Mom and Dad...well we just suck most days. Breena, Dana, Drake and Brit are where it is at! They have stuff...stuff you can get into...and they think you are still cute...so they let you get into their stuff! In fact, you have been so enabled that now you feel entitled to anything and everything that you can see! And when you don't get it...you make THE NOISE!

What is THE NOISE? It is hard to describe because it is more of a feeling than a noise. It is the sound you make when you are displeased with something. It could be anything...or nothing. We can never really tell what it is that you want. But when you make THE NOISE, we will literally do anything to make you stop. THE NOISE is a sound so annoying that it cuts to the very heart and soul. It could bring a grown man to his knees...and has! THE NOISE is even worse than the cry! Oh how we wish for the cry back! At least that we could stop with a bottle! THE NOISE is a sort of whine that you make incessantly, even after we have given you what we think you want! BUT...and I say that with my index finger pointed directly up in the air...we are on to your little plan! We have a way to combat THE NOISE...and it is called...THE CRIB! You are learning about time out! AND...the word NO! You shall not defeat us. For we are your parents and while we may have lost a few battles...we will not lose the war!

Luckily for us sweet bug, you are very smart and are catching on to what NO means very quickly. We are hoping that is a good sign and not just your way of collecting re-con before issuing out a blitzkrieg of toddler hell! You are the fifth kid...so just in case you were thinking we were tired and worn down from the other four...you should be warned. I have had 6 years to recover and regain my strength and Daddy is brand spanking new to the toddler world. We are not about to go easy on you...

About a week before your first birthday...maybe a little more than a week, but in the general time frame...you sprouted your first two teeth! FINALLY! I was really worried that there were no teeth in your head and we were going to have to explain to your first grade teacher why you were still on a liquid diet at 6. Seriously...I had nightmares. Thankfully the two on the bottom poked their way through on the same day. You went to bed with no teeth and woke up with two. Since then your baby senses have come alive and you have figured out that your mouth is for stuffing! You put everything in your mouth...like a normal kid! Again...I was having nightmares that I would have to explain to that same first grade teacher that not only were you on a liquid diet, but that he/she would have to feed you because you refused to put anything in your mouth! It was a little weird! But now...we all can relax, because you can now put not only food in your mouth, but small items off the carpet and garbage! Go Kaylee!

It is so fun to see you growing and changing. I have enjoyed seeing your big brothers and sisters develop and grow. Kids get funner as they get bigger and you are just like your siblings. I can't wait to see you walk, hear you talk, and listen to you jabber incessantly about sponge bob/dora/current obsession. Your giggle and baby talk makes every member of our home happy from Daddy all the way down to Brit. You connect us all together and for that I am so grateful!

We love you Sweet Kaylee bug! Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mommy

It makes you wonder...

So...I have nothing to blog about. Not that nothing is happening in my life. My life, much like your life, goes at a million miles per hour. There is barely time to sleep. It is just that...well...while busy and full...my life is rather ordinary. I work, I go to school, I have kids, they go to school, I am married, he goes to work. There you go...

Like I said...boring.

I decided that I wanted to make a list of "things that make you go hmmm." You know...like things that you think about...and in my case say out loud to the wearying of every human in my proximity...that have no real answer. Just make you go hmmmm.

Here is my list for your reading enjoyment. If it is not enjoyment for you...then why are you reading? hmmmmm

Why is it that as a child all you want is to be a grown up, but as a grown up you long for life as a child? hmmmmm

Why do coffee houses sell refillable bottles that say "for use with cold items only"? hmmmmm

That is all I have for the moment...but I am sure I will come up with more. I am thinking of making this a regular topic. So...if you have a hmmmm thing you want to share...leave it in the comments. All three of my readers would LOVE to hear from you!

Kid speak...Washington Edition

*driving through Oregon*

Brit - Look Mom...wind energies!!!

Economic frustration

I am wondering if you have noticed the same things I have noticed lately. Namely all of the economic crap that is blared at us on the news...that doesn't come to fruition? For instance, the auto industry is dieing right? There are supposed to be all of these "killer" deals. Dealers are just giving them away. Well we have been looking for a car. The car John drives is on it's last legs and we will need one before the end of the summer. So we have been looking...and I gotta say. I haven't seen any killer anything. The cars are the same price or more than they were just a year ago when we looked before. I see nothing killer out there accept how much they are asking for the cars.

Another for instance, the housing market and all of the refinancing options. Even with houses loosing value you can refinance at a lower interest rate right? Wrong. If you are responsible and have insurance on your mortgage and have made all of your payments, you don't qualify for a refinance. How frustrating is that.

So I am to guess then that the only way I can benefit from any of this Economic stimulus is to stop paying my mortgage, drop my insurance and buy a really expensive new car. That way I will have a brand new car and be able to drop my interest rate on my house a point and a half!

There are some very screwed up things happening...

seven...no wait eight...NO WAIT ALMOST NINE MONTHS OLD!!!

Dear Kaylee,

Ok...so you have a sucky Mom. This is probably something you should get used to. I will have moments of greatness where you will think..."wow this woman is together." And then I will have moments of complete and utter failure. I am human, and the sooner you realize that your parents are mortal the better I suppose.

So you are almost nine months old. I have no idea how you got to be that big...but you most certainly are. As of right now you have no teeth. I think this is the longest any of my children have waited to grow teeth. I am begining to wonder if their are teeth in there. A consequence of having not yet sprouted teeth has been a total and utter lack of wanting to put anything in your mouth...including food. Other parents I talk to wonder at your lack of oral fixation and wish their child was want to put items in his or her mouth. "What a blessing that is" they say. I, on the other hand, worry that this is some sort of illness that will manifest some day with your growing a third arm out the middle of your forehead...or something equally as distressing. So, for the past several months I have shoved every kind of food I could into your tightly clamped trap. I give you tastes of everything. From the bread in my sandwich to the curried potatoes we had at Royal India (two thumbs up!!!). At first you were less than enthusiastic about the oral olympics I was putting you through. You would clamp your mouth down so hard it would take two hands to pry your mouth open. After lots of practice, you are very excited about all of the new foods, and have found that you like the weird stuff as much as Mom and Dad. In fact, if it doesn't have spices and zing...you don't like it. The most exciting food adventure though was the day you realize that watermelon was good, and that you could feed it to yourself! You ate, several large peices that evening! We were both so impressed. Unfortunately, Aunt Stacie was less impressed the next day when the wonder of watermelon manifested itself in your diapers (I use the plural on purpose) and on your clothing.


You are sitting up my bug and have been able to for a while now. Though it sort of took us by surprise that you could. I was, once again, getting worried that something was wrong with you since I could not get you to sit up on your own. It wasn't until we realized that you actually could sit up, but just chose not to, that I stopped worrying. You love to be on the floor while playing. You roll and roll and roll, and stretch, and army crawl. The sitting isn't mobile...and mobile is where it is at for you. If you can't move "over there" you are one unhappy little girl. The most entertaining, and by entertaining I mean frustrating and painful, movement you want is when you want to be neither held nor set down. You want to hover in the middle ground somewhere between held and put down. Daddy would be most grateful if you would master your flying skill now to save his back from holding you in the hover position. Our codeine prescription is running out.

You have found the kitties...and the kitties are afraid. All except Pipen. He is more than happy to let you grab his ears and pull his tail. The poor cat is that starved for attention. I have been trying to show him more love since I realized this. Seriously though, you are much more interested in watching them grabbing them. The few times you have gotten a hold of Pipen, he has patiently waited for us to loosen your grip. He is a very sweet cat and will often come sit by you when you eat...just outside of arms reach.

Bug you are a delight to us. Your brothers and sisters adore you, and have mastered the changing of the diapers (at least the girls have that one) and the entertainment of you. Drake does his "crazy dance" while singing that makes you giggle to your toes. Brit reads you stories and plays peekaboo. Breena and Dana are great babysitters and take very good care of you. We are all happy you are with us.

We love you!

Love,
Mommy

A gigantic 6 months old

Dear Kaylee,

A few days ago you turned 6 months old. I know I am, once again, a little late with the blog thing. I have a fantastic excuse this time though! We were trying to get Drake's baptism and your blessing arranged and executed. It required an inordinate amount of house cleaning and long segments of time where your Mother sat around and imagined the worst. It was the second time we would be spending any amount of time with your siblings "other family" and my brain would not allow me to imagine this day going anyway other than badly. On top of that, your Daddy would randomly start breathing very deeply and get this I am going to throw up, pass out and then die look on his face. You see sweet bug. Your Daddy is a brave brave man, but he is very afraid to speak in public...out loud at least. He will publicly mutter from time to time. But standing up, in front of people, and then talking at the same time is something he dreads more than...well...many things (all bad).

I am very happy to say that everything went fantastically. All of the family members, yours and the other, were very well behaved. They even talked to each other in some cases. Your Daddy did a beautiful job on your blessing and did a great job baptizing Drake. Everyone behaved themselves...well...except you. You were very happy and cute, until it was time to bless you. Daddy held you and you were fine until the elders all placed there hands on you...and you freaked out. You cried, nay wailed, through the entire blessing. As soon as they uttered the word "Amen", you were over it. sigh

So...anyway

We are all very happy that the day went well and is over.

This month has been about food. I have to admit, I was not really motivated to get you to eat food. Bottles are very easy and highly convenient. I am extremely lazy. So fixing a bottle is an easy out when you are hungry. We started with the cereals, but we only gave them to you very occasionally. Then we moved on to vegetables. I gave you a couple veggies, but you seemed uninterested. I used this as an excuse to not push the food. You didn't seem to want it...why switch. Then one day, a couple of weeks ago, you must have had a growth spurt because you started eating 6+ ounce bottles every 2 hours. It was time for more substantial food. After a little coaxing and taxing all of Mommy's "get the baby on food" tactics, you decided that food was good! You eat everything placed in your mouth except peas. You clamp your mouth down hard and refuse them with an intensity reminicent of a person willingly die for their principles. I can't say that I blame you. Processed peas are horrible. Frozen peas aren't so bad. Hopefully you will acquire a taste for them in a few months.

You are a fantastic sleeper, hitting the sheets between 8 and 9 pm and not opening your eyes again until 7 or 8 am. It is awesome. You only vary from this on nights when we REALLY need you to sleep. Those nights you decide it is time to party like it is 1999. You will stay up till midnight or later and then wake up two or three times during the night...just as a check to see if we were still sleeping. Luckily we have discovered this loophole and remember now to assure you at bedtime that we absolutely do not need you to sleep...ever...at all. We remind you that you are welcome to stay awake as long as you would like. It seems as long as you know we don't need you to sleep, you are able to do so very well.


Sweet bug, you are adorable. While we loved to hold you and cuddle you; it seems you really prefer to lay on a blanket and roll around or sit in an excersaucer. You get so much attention from your sibbling and from your cousins. Aunt Stacie babysits you right now and her boys think you are their little sister...who was misdirected to the wrong house. So much attention and hands passing you around sort of drives your desire to lay or sit and play. You have almost stopped putting things in your mouth. Your little fingers will probe and grasp object, but you no longer explore them with your mouth. There is an intensity to you when you examine an object. It is amazing to see your focused. We so enjoy watching you.

I am excited to watch you grow more. You have already started the "inch worm" crawl and I fear we only have a couple more months before you get the hand/knee coordination going and you will be off. You are growing WAY too fast my sweet little girl. I really wish you would slow down. I know you are highly motivated to catch up with you brothers and sisters. It must be enormously frustrating to watch them walk, talk, and play. But, it would be a tremendous favor to your parents if you would decide to slow down...just a little.

We love you sweet bug. Talk to you soon.

Love,
Mommy

Awesome...like a hundred billion hot dogs sir!

As I may have mentioned before...we have four cats in our home.

I love my cats...for the most part. Lets face it, they are cats. For those of you who either own, or have owned a feline, you will need no more explanation than that last statement. They are cats. For those who have never owned one, everything you have read or have heard about cats is totally true. They have attitude, over run your home, and treat you with general disdain...unless it is feeding time at which point you become their most favorite person in the WORLD!!! They are cats. 'Nuff said.

Several times a year we have to "de-fur" the cats. It is a task that has to be done by me...because John has a very mild allergy to cats and performing this chore threatens to put him in the hospital. He can't even be in the same area of the house when I do it. De-furring is basically just brushing the cats. I should do this a couple of time a month. But... it is very messy and I am very lazy, so it gets done on an "as needed" basis. Spring time, and the subsequent shedding of the totally unnecessary winter coat, escalates the "as needed" to "code red". There is so much fur coming off of these animals it is unreal. So a few days ago, I sucked it up and did the nasty. I brushed all four cats.

We bought a new cat brush, and it is awesome. Check out the pics!!!


This is the mound of hair that I removed from the first cat...Pipen. I put my flip flops next to the pile of hair for reference.

This is the piles of hair after all four cats were done. This beach towel is a LARGE towel...So much hair came out of those cats it amazes me to look at. I didn't take a picture of my clothes after I was done. I was so covered in hair I had to shower.



This is the mighty and powerful "Defurminator" tool I used. I think this is the most expensive brush on the Petco shelf...and worth every single penny!

AWESOME!

Equal time...ummm no

I had a friend point out to me the other day that I tend to write a lot about my baby, but not so much about my other four children. It seemed a bit lopsided. She was pointing this out to me in a kind way, thinking that I might not have realized I was doing this. It was done with the best intentions. The funny thing about this conversation was my response to her, and her subsequent surprise. I know it is lopsided...and I do it on purpose.

Blogs are funny things. They allow outsiders an inside look into your life, and in some cases, your head. I enjoy some aspects of this. I have mentioned before how much I enjoy reading blogs. It is a little surprising to me that I also like to write on this blog. For whatever reason, I find it cathartic. I have little problem laying out my life and my thoughts in this medium. I do, however, have a problem laying out the lives of my kids. Hence, the reason you will see very few blogs written directly about my older kids. It is about respect.

With Kaylee, there are few boundaries. She is a baby. Her life revolves around her latest exciting discovery...like her feet. No invasion of privacy there! My older kids have lives. They are still young, but it is amazing to me how quickly they begin to have a need for their own space. To invade that space here, or really any public arena, feels like an exploitation. Those stories are theirs to tell, not mine.

So, for those few who might have been concerned that I don't love my older kids as much as my baby; you can relax. You will see the mommy letters on their birthdays, and the kid speaks. I will write about them when I feel the story relates to my life and how they impact me, but I will not write about them on a regular basis. This is the line that I have laid in the sand, and I will not cross it. I love them too much to put their lives on display for others amusement.

Ok...thanks for listening...you can go back to whatever you were doing.

5 months old...

Dear Kaylee,

You have developed a new way to comfort yourself. A few months ago we took away your binky. As I said in the last letter, you couldn't suck on it very well anyway. So it was best for everyone involved if the bink just disappeared. We were worried you might start to suck your thumb...well...that isn't what happened. You started to suck the inside of your arm. Actually, it isn't so much a suck as it is a lick. You lick the inside of your arm... We are so proud!!! At least it shows you are a problem solver! Unique at that.

This month has been a rough one sweet bug. You, and the rest of us for that matter, had been pretty healthy through the winter. But around the time the ground hog came out, we all got sick. Most of us anyway. You were the worst though. At first we thought you had RSV. That is a scary thing to have and we worried because you didn't seem to be getting better. You were so sick. Your cough went all the way down to your toes and racked you until you would cry from the pain of it. It was heart breaking. When you didn't get better we took you back to the doctor and he decided that it was probably pnemonia. Once you got on the antibiotics things started to turn around. It was good to see you smile again. We thought for a few days there that you would never smile ever ever again.

Once that was over, you were heathly for a few days and then started right into another cold. So for much of the month you have looked like this...


and this...


We are really looking forward to you being over these and for the spring to get here. It will be a good thing.

You are learning to sit up. You haven't quiet got the total idea, but you are coming along. You love to throw yourself backward, which ends badly everytime. I am hoping that soon you will discover you are actually doing that to yourself, and that it is not some mean trick your parents are playing on you to torture you for our amusement.

Another fun thing that you are doing this month is this...



THE BABY DEATH GRIP!!! That is what Daddy calls it. It looks harmless enough in this picture, but what you do...just seconds later...after the camera has clicked complete...is clamp down your fingers and dig your REALLY sharp baby finger nails into the soft part of the neck. You grab a handful of flesh and then squeeze and claw and...dare I say...tear at that vulnerable area of our necks. It is almost like you are going for the jugular! It is exquisitly painful and will bring your Mommy to her knees. The really bad part is that you don't let go. You just hang on there like...well...I can't think of what clamps on and doesn't let go...but it is just like that!

Another fun development...that is not at all painful for your parents...you have found your feet!



Well it is a littl painful for us...when we are trying to change your butt...oh the fun!!!

And lastly this month baby, you have this really cute way of holding your mouth...it is always open. If you aren't being feed or sleeping, your mouth hangs open. I know that babies explore the world around them with their mouths...so many fun things! But your mouth hangs open with an intensity that I don't remember in your brothers and sisters. Almost like you are trying to WILL the objects, people, food, air, etc around you into your wide open pie hole! I am sorry to report that your baby powers have failed you. Despite your best efforts, those thing will not simply move themselves into your mouth...you are going to have to use your hands.


Well, there it is sweet Kaylee bug, your are a gigantic 5 months old. We are so happy to have you in our family and we are REALLY glad that you found your smile again.

Love,
Mommy

Reasons...Conflict

For the majority of my life I have been very seriously handicapped by my inability to confront people directly. I hate conflict. It is just something that I have never been good at handling. I know people who are able to stand up in a fight. They allow their feelings of injustice and what-not fuel them into a verbal furry. They can express themselves very well in high conflict situations. It always amazes me, when I witness these people, how sure they are of their position. They are immovable in their belief that they are right and that other person is dead wrong.

In a conflict situation I tend to fold in on myself. It is very frustrating. I feel guilt on a very real level and will feel guilty about everything, even when I am not actually guilty of anything. I will feel guilty for simply disagreeing with someone. I will feel guilty because, even though they did something bad, there is one tiny little truth in their argument that sends me spiraling down a guilt tunnel. I will feel guilty just because I know what I have to say will make them feel guilty. OH THE GUILT!!! It is infuriating.

I was thinking about this today as I was dealing with the "dreaded X". He was upset over an upcoming event that is...well upcoming. It is a long story, but believe me when I tell you, the X knows all about my inability to stand up in a conflict. He knows it and he uses it. He manipulates the guilt in a way that still gets under my skin and makes me feel like so much less of a person. Like everything that has happened is entirely my fault and that I now have to pay the consequences for "tearing our perfect family apart".

To say that we don't get a long is an understatement. What is worse, is that he has such righteous indignation. He truly believes that he is completely blameless in our breakup. In his mind, I just wanted to go live it up like my single friends and be done with all of that married life responsibility. I made this choice selfishly and gave no regard to my children.

Side note: If that was true...why is it that I have been married for almost two years and he is still single???

I want to know how my conflict enabled friends do it. How do you hold it together and avoid the guilt? I hate that he still has the ability to manipulate me, and I REALLY hate that he does it to my kids. I want to arm them with skills to avoid dealing with this their entire lives. I only have to deal with him for a few more years. He will be in their lives for the rest of their lives, and he is not above playing head games with these kids.

I just don't want them to feel what I feel when I have to deal with him.

Kid speak...

Drake - "two more and I will have valentines for all of the people. Then I just need to do the ones for the girls"

Johns - "Drake, girls are people too."

Drake - "...oh...ya...your right"

Sick days...

A few days ago a friend of mine wrote about how Mom's never get to be sick. Illness comes and Mom's just have to pick themselves up and keep going no matter how bad they feel. I was laughing at that thinking how true that was...

We are all sick here. Well most of us are sick. Breena has had a terrible cold for weeks. Brit has a cold and now has pink eye. Kaylee has either RSV or Pneumonia (depends on which Doctor you ask) and is miserable. I have a head cold that is making me wish for an early grave. John is getting my cold... Drake and Dana have managed to remain healthy. We will see...

I remember when I was younger, before the kids. When I would get sick I would stay in my pajamas and stay in bed with the covers up to my chin and sleep. It was great. Even if there was no one there to take care of me, I could at least rest. Now that we have kids, as all parents know, it is IMPOSSIBLE to do anything like this. It just isn't in the cards to try and rest. Which is ironic I think, because the only real way to get over something is to sleep. But NO.... just as I feel a cold coming on one of the kids decides to fall ill. Which means that they are not going to sleep...consequently neither can I.

Even if they aren't sick, they still think that they need to eat, and have clean clothes, and be involved in activities...

I want to lay down and sleep so bad my head is just aching. But there are so many things to do and Kaylee just wants to be held. Valentine's day is in a couple of days so there are the obligatory card to complete for the kids classes. Drake has scouts tonight and Breena and Dana have activity days tomorrow that I need to finish preparing for. I have 14 loads of laundry to do and a sink full of dishes to wash. The cat boxes need to be cleaned, and my bedroom is unbelievable. I don't even want to think about what my bathrooms look like.

Being sick as the Mom sucks.

Reasons...

You STILL cannot safely buckle your children into your vehicle when your girl friend is there. Six people and only five restraints. Was it that you could not afford a 7 passenger vehicle? Or that you could not be bothered to worry about anyone else but yourself? I am guessing the latter.

You cannot manage to pay for a seat belt for everyone...but you sure as hell can afford these.




Custom wheels. Seriously???

I bet their step father would LOVE to drive a snazzy sporty vehicle. In fact I know he would. But he doesn't...because he puts YOUR CHILDREN and their well being ahead of his own personal desires.

Because that is what good parents do.

I guess we all know where that puts you.

"I am so LONELY!!!"

I have always been an animal lover. People who know me can attest to that. I like 'em all. Flying, slithering, scaly, wet, furry, dry...whatever. The only things that I won't house are spiders or insects. These are not pets...they are pests (note the extra "s"). I squish them and leave their mangled corps on the wall as a warning to the others in the area. I cannot get behind keeping them as pets.

BUT ANYWAY...

Some people are cat people...others are Dog people...and most times you are either one or the other. John is a cat person. I like dogs a lot, but enjoy cats now because they fit very nicely into our lifestyle. They only require about 5-10 minutes of actual attention a day. Other than that...they really don't care if you exist. Dogs...they need CONSTANT love an attention or they start eating things...like your furniture. They are needy and neurotic. We work and we have five kids and one ex-husband with visitation...so we run around quite a bit and are not home. My life style has forced me to become a certified cat person. But luckily (or not so luckily) I have a cat that acts more like dog than he should.

I give you Pipen. He is our 2 year old siameseish cat. He is the first kitten that I picked out. We now have four cats. The other three are normal cats. Eat, sleep, litter box, rub against your leg, look at you with disdain... ya know...normal cat. Not Pipen. He is not a normal cat.


He plays fetch.

He obsesses over things

He talks and whines to us all day long

He cannot handle change in anyway

He does naughty things when he is not being paid attention to

When we brought Kaylee home from the hospital two members of our household had problems adjusting; Brit and Pipen. Brit has adjusted and is over it; he was over it about a month after she was born. Pipen is STILL not over it.

He has these little batting toys he plays with. If you throw it for him, he will chase it, pick it up and bring it back to you. Just like a dog. He will do this for hours! As long as you throw it...he will bring it back. If you stop playing with him, he will follow you around with the toy in his mouth begging you to play with him... just like a dog.

He bats that stupid toy under the stove EVERYDAY. Then he lays next to the stove and whines until I pull out the drawer and get the toy out for him... sound like another kind of animal??? I think so too.

He likes to jump behind the TV. We have this big entertainment center with closing cabinet doors. To get behind the cabinet he has to jump up on the TV and then slither between the cutout opening in the cabinet. He then proceeds to chew on the cords to Johns XBOX 360. This is bad, because if the cord plastic isn't in place the cords could actually start a fire. Not to mention the electrical current could hurt the cat. He has gotten in trouble for jumping back there SO MANY times. No matter what we do to punish him or deter him from going back there...he obsesses about doing it again. Every time he walks in front of the cabinet, he pauses to look up and you can see his legs getting ready to leap. We yell "Pipen!!!" and he runs away. Sure as the sun will rise...he comes back a few minutes later to try again. He does this over and over and over and over again. It is maddening!!!

This cat is the strangest cat I have ever known. He is extremely cute and such a beautiful cat...but I think he must have done something wrong in a past life. He was a dog and he pissed someone off and was cursed to come back as his arch nemesis...and he has NO IDEA how to be a cat!!! He just wants someone to HOLD HIM!!!!

He may need Prozac!!!

I'm a follower!!!

I love to read blogs. Blogs have this amazing way of drawing people out. There is a sense of safety when you write a blog. I find people are - generally- most real when they consistently write what is happening to them and with them. I enjoy finding out what people think and are willing to write about themselves. I don't know...call me nosy.

I know that this blog has been an amazingly freeing, healing, creative tool for me. I am soooo glad my brother prompted me to start it a few years ago. It took a long time to get into it, but now it is a part of my day. I carry a book around so that I can write down blog ideas.

So the point is... do you have a blog?

If you do, post a link in the comment section of this post. I would love to link to it and read it. I have gotten to know some of you so much better through your writing.

If you don't, consider getting one. This website "blogger" is fast, easy and free. Just start with simple things. Things that interest you. Don't worry about what people think, this is your space. I have a friend who blogs about her compulsion to organize things. I have another friend who blogs mostly about her kids. Whatever the subject, just give it a try. You may find, like me, that you enjoy it.

And I need more to read...

They have ARRRAAIIVVVEEEDDDD

Our furniture...that we ordered on Nov 15th... is in our home!!! This is no insignificant event my friends. We have been living... for about 22 months now... without a stick of furniture in our front room. We ordered these from Furniture Warehouse during that big retirement sale. They told us at the time that it would take about 4-6 weeks for delivery. They needed to order them in. No problem we said. That would put us right about Christmas...we can wait for that.

At about 4 weeks I call to find out if they are in yet... just hoping that maybe they got there at the earliest time quote. I was told that they were not in, but that we would see them just before Christmas. The week of Christmas rolls around...no furniture. So I call again. Nope sorry they will be here just after Christmas. We will call you and let you know when we know what day.

So after the happy day is over, I call again...'cause nobody is calling me. Nope! This time I am forwarded to a manager, lets call him Paul, because that is his name. He tells me that the fabric is back ordered and that it will be mid January before the items will be in. But he will call as soon as he knows a date for delivery.

I am wondering why nobody had called me to let me know this was the case...it would have been nice to know.

So...we are patient until 15th of January. This time John calls. Paul once again makes up some delay and promises they will be in the following Thursday. "I will call you..."

I bet you can guess what happened...

Thursday comes and goes...no call. We call the store that evening, no Paul. He won't be in...we have no idea where your furniture is but you can leave him a message on his voice mail (code for oblivion). The next day I want to complain a little...I mean a lot. So I call once again, just for kicks and giggles. I have nothing better to do with my time than call stores and demand expensive items that I have already paid for...though not yet received. It is a thing with me...

So I call...and miracles upon miracles, the furniture is in! But... they can't deliver it till Monday. I should really learn to throw fits... my life would be easier. People who throw fits well would have gotten their items delivered that very damn day and not a moment longer!!! I am too non-confrontational. So I agree to monday delivery. "We will call you to set up a time for delivery". I actually said to the guy on the other end of the phone..."are you really gonna call... because we have been promised calls for the last two months...and NOT ONE TIME HAS ANYONE ACTUALLY CALLED US TO LET US KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON."

I guess I am not that non-confrontational.

They called first thing the next day and our furniture was delivered first thing Monday morning. I am very pleased with the furniture. It is beautiful and we got a very good price for them. I am also pleased that I never have to speak to another employee of furniture warehouse again. I have no plans to shop there in the future.

And they will never call me...

Drakie!!! The one and only

Dear Drake,

You may be wondering why I would choose to put this picture of you on your blog post. It is simply this... this sweet, tearful face has saved you on more than one occasion! You kill me my sweet Drake. No matter how mad at you I might have been, or what you had done; all you had to do was turn on the tears and Mommy melted like butter in the sun. (I mean real butter...not that other stuff!) You are my heart Drake. You came to me at a time when I had my hands full. Breena was only two and a half and Dana was only 14 months old. I was seriously unsure that I was going to be able to handle another child. You will hear others tell you, I am sure, that when I read the pregnancy test and it said I was pregnant...again...for the third time in two years...I chucked the test stick at your father. This is totally true. The thought of a third baby at that moment almost pushed me over the edge. Luckily, Heavenly Father made sure to send me a wonderful little boy, who could charm me with a smile and render me powerless with a tremble of the lip and a single tear. You are my heart indeed!


When you were three years old you came running into my bedroom, tripped on a pillow and smacked your mouth on the corner off my bed frame. The impact left a nasty gash on your upper lip that required stitches. I remember at the Doctors office, when they went to do the stitches...the wanted to strap you down. But you were being so good and compliant that they thought they would try it without first. I sat next to you...and you talked and jabbered through the whole thing, but you didn't cry once. It was terribly hard for the Doc to stitch while you talked, but he decided it was better to work with that than have you screaming and kicking.



You started talking really very early, but then you were always a little ahead of yourself. You even skipped that whole newborn baby look and just jumped right into infant. You were so adorable. Frankly...you still are!


You are a very emotional kid and you are one of the first to give me a hug and tell me that you are sorry that I had a bad day. You try so hard to make everything better. I appreciate you so much for this. Your compassion is a wonderful asset to you. It helps you to relate to other people and care about what happens to them. Not everyone in this world has this ability. Please don't loose it.

That isn't to say you always see eye to eye with everyone; especially your sisters. Sisters are hard for brothers to deal with sometimes. You will come to learn as you grow up that boys and girls see things differently. Try to learn from your sisters...because some day that knowledge might help you score chicks! Consider it research...on a purely scientific level of course.


You are my sweet Drakie, I am so proud of you! Happy Birthday!

Love,

Mommy

Four months old

Dear Kaylee,


You are four months old...two days ago. One thing you will come to understand about your Mom...I am not always punctual...but I do what I say I am going to do eventually. Patience is a virtue and I am just trying to teach you that virtue...ya...that is it!

You have grown so much in the last month. If we thought you had personality before...well it has blossomed even further very recently. You are...how do I put this...a little high maintenance sweet girl. Much of this is not your fault. We moved you into your crib...which threw you for a loop. We took away the binky which has made you less than pleased with us. Needless to say, you have been a little tough to keep happy. Your Dad hasn't sat down in weeks. Every time his butt hits a surface you scream and flail like your legs have been ripped off. As long as you are completely entertained at every moment of the day things are fine. Heaven forbid we try to take a moment to pee. How dare we attend to ourselves!!! The impertinence of the idea is enough to make any four month old groan.


So there are some entitlement issues. At the moment you are sitting in your very entertaining excer-saucer, surrounded by toys, throwing a hissy fit...because the toys don't talk back or pay attention to you!!! Despite this...or maybe a little because you still manage to be cute when you throw a fit...we are still absolutely enamored with you.
You may be asking yourself right now, why the binky. Well the problems lays with your genetics little one. See...you inherited only one physical trait from me, and that was an over-sized tongue. It is always hanging out and it gets in the way a lot. Especially when you are trying to suck on a binky. We would spend hours, both during the day and at night, holding that annoying piece of plastic in your mouth, because you couldn't keep it in by yourself. When we moved you to the crib we decide the time to loose the bink had come. I had no intentions of standing next to your crib every night to hold it in place while you slept. So far you have done pretty well without it at night. It is during the daytime that you seem to have trouble. You cry...oh heaven help me the crying! You cry like you lost your best friend...like your puppy has just be run over...like your mean parent took away your binky!!! Despite the crying (oh the crying!!!) you are doing really pretty well adjusting.




I have to take this moment to point out...you are huge! I look at this picture of you and it is hard to imagine that you were once so little your tiny head fit perfectly in your Daddy's hands. You are a whole lot of fun...despite the crying (oh the crying!!!) I can't wait till we start solid food! That will be a whole new world of face pulling and brightly colored spit up. Hooray for stain removers!!!

We love you bug! Even with the crying (oh sweet heaven the crying!!!)

Love,
Mommy

Kid speak...The Drake in Disneyland Edition

(tonights phone conversation)

Drake - "Hi Mom"

Me - "Hey Drakie hows your day?"

Drake - "We went swimming, got done, I put on my pajamas, and we ordered pizza...bye"

Me - "Hey wait... are you having fun???"

Drake - "Yup...bye"

Me - "Wait Drake - What did you do yesterday?"

Drake - "Disneyland"

Me - "What are you doing tomorrow?"

silence

Me - "Drake???"

Drake - "I'm having fun!!! Bye"

*click*

Salvation!!!!

The Christmas and New Year holidays were a little crazy this year. We spent most of the evenings this last season traveling around to different houses and parties. It was fun! But...(there is always a but isn't there) the traveling, noise, confusion, and late nights threw Kaylee's shedule completely out of wack. Up till then, she had been sleeping about 5-6 hours at a time, making it bearable to deal with at night. After New Years, she developed this horribly frustrating habit of only sleeping about 30 minutes at a time and then staying awake for an hour or more before crashing again for 30 minutes. She found this schedule fit her needs perfectly. She got to sleep and then play with Mom or Dad all night. What she didn't realize, being that she is an infant and incapable of thinking outside of her own existance, was that she was slowing driving her parents to madness and early death.

MUST HAVE SLEEP!!!

So last friday I was picking my kids up from my sister's house and Kaylee had fallen asleep. As Stacie and I chatted she laid across my lap unconscious. Now...there were 7 kids (at least) in the house. The TV was blarring, kids were playing, phone was ringing, and the two of us were talking. There was so much noise and confusion it was insane...and there she slept. I looked at Stacie and made some frustrated comment about wishing she would sleep this well at night. Stacie kind of laughed and said..."maybe it is just too quiet in her room at night for her to sleep..."

***LIGHT BULB!!!!***

That night John put a radio in her room on the classical station...which didn't come in very well... and she slept 7 and a half hours...woke up for 15 minutes for food...and then slept another 4 hours! AHAAAAAA! We did a snoopy dance and then headed directly to Target for this little gadget. We had to go to two different stores, but finally found it. It plays MP3s, has lullaby music, white noise (ocean, storm, womb sounds, etc.)...it is awesome. She slept the next two nights very well.

We may have found the way to thwart her efforts to end us! I am crossing my fingers that this continues to work...otherwise my sister will need to work faster on her basement...'cause she will be raising my kids!

Kid speak... The Brit's Birthday edition

Brit - "...you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man!"

Chase - "you can't catch me I'm the toilet plunger man!!!"

Kid Speak... the Brit's Birthday edition

*early in the morning*

*knock knock knock*

Brit - "Mom can Tyler and I have our glow sticks? We fell asleep last night and forgot them"

John - (rolls over and groans) "You can have them a little later after we get up"

A few seconds pass...

*knock knock knock*

Tyler - "John...what does "later" mean???"

Panic and obsessive behaviour

I am a panic-er...ya know...one of those people who can take a small little thing and blow it completely out of proportion. Now before I go too far...it must be said that when it comes to my kids...nothing is small and there is no such thing as "out of proportion". If I think that they are being mistreated or are unsafe the "proportions" get re-defined entirely. The panic I am talking about revolves more around things like this example... In reality - the car is making a sound. In my head - the engine is falling out! That sort of panic. Something that is likely inconsequential that becomes, in my mind at least, a source of total hysteria.

I also have the amazing ability to obsess over things...a lot. I get an idea in my head and I can't get it out no matter how hard I try. Like for instance, this last Christmas. Santa was bringing the children Nerf guns...the big ones. A work friend of mine brought his new Vulcan Nerf cannon in one day and let me try it. This is a chain fed fully automatic machine gun (Nerf style); so much fun I almost injured my co-worker. Once I had this gun in my hand, I knew that John had to have one. There is only one way to fend of a 3-4 kid tactical team with a heavily stocked arsenal...and that is with a fully automatic chain fed machine gun. 8 days before Christmas...I begin searching for this gun...and searching...and searching. I call stores and wait 30 minutes for someone to help me. I surf the internet and for a moment, just one moment mind you, consider paying 3 times the amount this gun normally sells for just so that he can have one. HE MUST HAVE THIS GUN...DON'T YOU SEE PEOPLE...IF HE DOESN'T GET THIS GUN IT COULD MEAN THE CESSATION OF LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!!!

I mean that kind of obsessive...

A couple of weeks ago my cousins were in town from California. My family had a dinner get together to visit with them. While we were chatting, Emmy mentioned that she would be doing the Renaissance festival again this year in Cali. My oldest brother and his wife were seriously thinking of going.

Cut to last week...

We are having Sunday dinner at my parents house and Mike mentions to us that we should come along. I would really like to go, but figure we couldn't really swing it. John turns to me and says..."well...it wouldn't be that expensive we could do it for a late anniversary thing..."

Initiate obsessive tendencies now!

I begin calculating days and strategizing ways to save money so that we can maximize our spending abilities within the fair. I get the nod of approval from Mike...since we are crashing their trip. I start looking on the internet for hotels....SKREETCHHH...the hotels that are recommended on the fairs website are filling up!!! What ever will we do!!!

Initiate panic tendencies now!

By the time I discover this it is after 9PM. I pick up the phone and call my brother. "Mike you gotta decide when we are leaving, coming back, what we are going to eat, how much oxygen we are going to use, what the alignment of the planet will mean for the tides, and if this mole on my back looks funny...RIGHT NOW!!! THE HOTELS ARE FILLING UP!!! DO YOU HEAR ME MAN! WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE???

*chirp* (the sound of crickets)

A few long painful seconds pass...

Mike - "Ya know Ang...California is a big place. There are lots of hotels...those five hotels on the website aren't the only places we can stay. We could even stay in Anaheim and drive up...it is not that far..."

Me - "oh... I guess you are right...didn't think of that"

panic turning to a low simmer...obsession at an all time HIGH!!!

This trip is going to be fantastic! A weekend away with my husband, the kids safely stowed with family. I can't wait! REALLY I CAN'T WAIT!!! MAKE IT APRIL! MAKE IT APRIL RIGHT NOW DANG IT!!!! WHY ISN'T IT APRIL NOW!

I just hope the other members of the party survive to go!

Britters

This is Brit. He is my 6 year old...former youngest. His birthday was last Wednesday. In keeping with my plan to write to my kids, this one is for him.


Dear Brit,

You are an amazing little boy, my sweet Britters. You have an infinite ability to love, and you are perhaps the most stubborn strong willed child I have ever known. Well, except perhaps Chase, but you are a close second. You were born just at the time we got our first digital camera, so I have more pictures of you as a baby than I do of your older brother and sisters. You have these enormous beautiful blue eyes.


I don't remember many things about the time when you were a baby. You were born just as we began building our house in South Jordan. You spent the first many months of your life at Joni's house, or at my mother's house while we tried to build a house...instead of hiring a contractor like most normal people would have done. I hated leaving you, and for a while you were more bonded to Joni and Grandma than you were with me. Once we were in the house, I had to work night shift to be able to pay for the house and avoid daycare. It was miserable, and you were left to yourself a lot while I tried to get a little sleep. That is the reason you were able to re-decorate the house on several occasions using black sharpies or stamp pads. I even have a picture of you covered from head to toe in red and blue ink. Most of that time is a blur to me since I was a walking zombie...suffering from lack of sleep. In fact, if it were not for my friend Jasmine, you might not have been bathed...or fed. She was a God send to me at that time and was one of the main reasons I didn't go completely insane.

I do remember how much you loved to ham it up. You were so silly. You loved to watch movies and eat popcorn. You loved to be wrapped up in a blanket and held while Nemo was on. I loved to snuggle you and hold you. I needed that time with you, and you were always willing to give it. Like most of the kids, you were a terrible eater. If it wasn't breaded and served with french fries you refused to eat it. It has been a continuous battle with you to get you to try new things. As you get older, you are getting better. But it has been a long hard fight.

It took you a really long time to speak. Since I was unconscious most of your awake time, I failed to spend a lot of time with you reading books and learning words. When you were 3 I took you to have your ears checked, thinking that maybe your speech was delayed because you couldn't hear. When your hearing checked out fine, we started working with a speach pathologists. She pointed out to me that you had no association between words and objects...that I had failed to teach you English. Jasmine and I started working very hard to teach you word and the objects they went to. Once you learned those, you started talking and you haven't stopped since! You love to tell me about everything. Especially if it has anything to do with sponge bob, or mario.

You are such a smart little boy. Kindergarten was a tough change for you and I thought you were going to push your teacher over the edge. But what we found, once you settled in, was that you were well ahead of most of the kids in your class. You read wonderfully, you know all of your fundamentals, shapes, numbers including basic math. We are so proud of you. Your delayed speach didn't seem to hold you back, and you are excelling at school!



You are a delight to us Brit. John and I enjoy your enthusiasm for games and reading. Your giggle is infectious and it resonates through our home. It is fun to watch you with your best friend Tyler. You two have been planing your birthday party for months now and I am excited to have you do it. It will be your first real birthday party and I hope it is all that you envision it to be. Happy Birthday Sweet Britters! I am so glad you are in our family.

Love, Mommy

I am an Elf!

I am a gamer. I haven't always been...though had I been given an opportunity earlier in life (thanks Mike) I might have become one back in my formidable years. To be fair to my brother, it wasn't really his fault. I was always interested in what he and his friends were doing when they got together and played D&D. (Our mother would say the name of the game and roll her eyes at the same time.) I was so interested in fact, that I would often break into his room when he wasn't home and mess with his dice and look through whatever books were in his room at the time. Sorry about that Mike...*grins*. But in truth...I never asked to play. I am not sure what the conversation would have gone like back then. But there was always this unwritten, unspoken rule that little sisters didn't bug older brothers. So I never asked and he never had to tell me to go stick it in my ear.

I like to play all sorts of games...video games, board games and RPGs. While I like all of these, I tend to favor any game I can play with other people. Video games tend to eat up a lot of time...and I play them by myself. Board game have been around forever, and I will play any kind placed in front of me. John has introduced me to all sorts of new styles and concepts and they are all so much fun. I learned to play RPGs before John and I started dating...or even speaking to each other. I was getting together with some friends playing the RPG that was built around the movie "Serenity". John was there...he was dating a friend of mine at the time...but he didn't speak enough to really teach me a whole lot. He helped where he could, but he didn't know me very well and others in the group were more dominant...or at least vocal. That was a fun, if flawed, game and I was hooked on this role playing concept. After we started speaking, and then dating, then subseqently getting married, he has pulled me completely into the Dungeons and Dragons world.

Role playing is like interactive story telling. It is a whole different type of game, because the characters (different people playing) work cooperatively to solve a puzzle, or rescue a town, or just kill things and take there stuff. It can be anything you want it to be. I am still learning to actually play my character, but I enjoy every session I sit in. We have even gotten our kids to play with us. It is important to be careful about who you play with and how the game is played. Since it is an interactive story...and since the story can go in really any direction the group takes it...there could be the possibility for the story to go in bad or even naughty directions. That is why picking a good group, and having a Dungeon Master who will wreak havoc, death, dismemberment, or gender change on anyone who attempts to hyjack the story to a bad place helps.

We were sitting in Hastur's games yesterday, looking for a new game to play. I was surrounded, but board games, and RPG books, miniature figures, dice, and gaming tables...and I smiled. Being a geek is fun! I have a very large bag of dice...that are all mine. I have my own gaming books. I don't have to sit on the sidelines anymore. If I wanna pretend I am an Elf...I can pretend I am an Elf...and these people completely understand!