Imaginif...

...you had a person who had access to your children. This person took your children out of your care every other weekend. While the kids were with this person, rules were disregarded and laws were ignored. Like say...I don't know...maybe this person decides to take your kids hiking to the top of Mount Grandeur; in April... while there is still snow on the ground...in flip flops. Now it is not this person who is in flip flops....no way... they are wearing very warm comfortable climbing boots. It is your 7 year old little girl. What would you do?
Or lets say...hypothetically (oh right!) this person were to get a significant other. And lets say this person's car only sits 5. So this person puts said car up for sale and purchases a brand new car...that also only seats 5 people. But wait...you have four kids. The person...the significant other...the four kids...that is 6 people in a 5 people car. Two of the kids are being buckled into one car seat...OR one of the kids is being buckled in with significant other. What would you do?
And then...lets say that you hold physical custody and are responsible for the safety and well being of the kids...even when the kids are with this person...and you have asked REPEATEDLY for this person to act like a grown up and put the kids well being before this person's convenience...and the person ignores you. What would you do?

Seriously...what do I do? I have no idea what I am supposed to do to protect my kids when they are with their jerk ass of a sperm donor. He takes no consideration for their safety and it scares me. Every weekend they are with him I carry my phone waiting for the phone call from the emergency room. It is going to happen...sooner or later... I cannot sit back and wait for that day to come but I have no idea what to do. Anyone out there have any clue who I can call or what I can do?

Three months old...

Dear Kaylee,

Today you are three months and one day old. Sorry I missed it yesterday, but it was Christmas day and Daddy and I had better things to do than blog...wink wink! Just kidding...we broke out his new game Arkham Horror and managed to eat up about 10 hours playing it! It was way fun! But any way...you are three months old and a total kick in the butt! We are having so much fun with you. In the last few weeks you have figured out how to use your hands...sort of. You have figured out that your hands do things and it has been unbelievably fun watching you explore them and with them. You will sit for quite awhile grasping them together and then letting go. Then you will grab your left hand with your right hand and pull the fingers. It is very exciting for you. You bat things with your fisted hands and will pull our hands toward your face when we have a bottle or binky for you. Now this all may not seem all that thrilling for you to read about...or for anyone but me to read about. But I find the look of concentration on your face facinating. I am almost as facinated watching you as you are looking at your hands. You amaze me with how fast you are learning to do things, and with your determination to figure these things out. I hope you always have that curiosity and focus.


Tonight we are going to put you to sleep for the first time in your crib. It is a sad night for both of us. You have out grown the basinett and you need to learn to sleep without us...or maybe it is that we need to learn to sleep without you. It has been so fun having you in our room with us...we are both sad that you have to go. It is one more sign that our baby girl is growing too fast.
You are fighting your first real cold right now. Luckily it hasn't been bad, just a little runny nose and cough. The first time we had to seriously suck your nose out and you woke up coughing, you looked at us as if we had betrayed you. How dare we bring you into a world where noses get stuffy and your throat hurts? What a suckfest. It was funny to see the look of betrayal! I can only say to you truthfully that it gets worse from here. I wish that I could protect you from all the suckfest things in this life. But...unfortunantly...it is usually those things that teach us the most. If it weren't for some major suckfest things happening to both your Dad and I before we met each other, we probably wouldn't have gotten together...and we wouldn't have you. Your Dad saved me from a very sad and painful life...but without that life, I wouldn't understand how amazing he is and we wouldn't have your brothers and sisters. So see...sometimes the suckfests are worth it in the end.
You are sitting next to me on Daddy's lap gooing and making spit bubbles...your favorite thing ever. Your shirt is never dry! You are bright eyed and very interested in the tapping of the key board. You laugh so often and so completely. Your smiles involve your whole body. And now...you threw up on Daddy! Good job!
We love you little bug! You are a joy to us both. You unify our family!
Love,
Mommy

The best reason

Tonight is christmas eve. It is the night we remember the gift of our Saviour. It has become a little cliche to say "remember the reason for the season" and the constant nagging of our religious leaders to put Christ first sometime wears thin. I know and I understand how this gets old over time...I am cynical enough to get it. But...having said that...I wanted to write today, on this day of days, about why it is so important to me to remember him.
I am not the most religious person you will ever encounter. There are many things in my life that are out of line with the strict tenets of my religion. For any of you who read this blog with any regularity can attest...I have a problem controling my language for one. I have no problem following the BIG requirements...but it is the little ones that I have trouble with. Dispite my short commings and cynical...sometimes pessimistic outlook on life, I have an unwavering testimony of Christ. Today I share it with you...

I believe him. I didn't say that I believe in him, though I do,...I believe him. I believe he can do what he says he can do. I know that despite all my short coming and failings, if I continue to strive to overcome those aspects of me that are not what they should be, I will be saved through him. In those moments when I am weak, when the many mistakes I have made pile up at my feet, I am safe in the knowledge that he is with me. He takes it from me willingly. He suffered and died so that I might be able to learn from my mistakes. He can do that. It isn't some magical story or a theory not yet put into place. It is truth. He is my salvation...a salvation I will never achieve on my own.
On this day, I ponder what it was like for his mother...the fear she must have felt holding that baby. I believe she knew what was likely in-store for her son. I imagine there was an overwhelming desire to protect him and keep him from the hurt and pain that the world would put upon him. I have held my babies and thought of this too. My Mother-in-law once told me that it was a very good thing she wasn't in charge. Because there would be no way that she could allow harm to come to her beautiful perfect son. Not for all the world and the salvation of all mankind would she be able to let him be harmed. I echo that sentiment. I am humbled by Mary, and her strength. She allowed him to become what he needed to be, and she stood by and watched as he fullfilled his mission. How horrible that must have been, to watch your baby (even as a grown man) suffer as he did.
Then there was Joseph. The ultimate in step-parents. What an absolutely impossible situation for him. I can only imagine how hard it must have been when he learned of what was to come. What humility he must have possessed to accept the situation and to step up and be Mary's companion and Jesus' Father. I believe with all my heart the Lord blesses step parents. Their sacrifices go unheralded and their contributions are unmatched...because they don't have to be there. They choose to be there and take responsibility for children that are not their own. I have gained a deep and loving respect for Joseph over the last two years watching John with our kids.
I am grateful for the knowledge I have of these things. I am humbled by it. No matter where i go in my life and the choices I make, I am comforted by my Saviours presence beside me. I am grateful for the people that helped him to grow into the man he was destined to become.

I wish you, and everyone who maters to you, a peaceful and happy Christmas.

Kid speak...

Brit - Ummm Mom...Aunt Stacie has presents under her tree. See all the presents under her tree?

Me - Yes Brit I see them.

Brit - (nervously) How come we don't have any presents under our tree?

Me - Well....(pause for dramatic effect) because our kitties will chew on the paper if we put them under the tree. So they are locked in Mom and Dad's room to protect them.

Brit - (with great relief) So we have presents?

Me - Yes...we have presents

Brit - Oh good!!!!

Now playing

For school I was asked to make a training video that showed potential diversity issues in a work place. I asked a couple of my co-workers to help me and this is what was made. I post this mostly for my own amusement. Enjoy...

I pose a question...

Hello my fellow blogger, friends and those of you who lurk but never speak...I have my eye on you! I have finished school for this semester and am in Lay Back City for the next couple of weeks. It is great! I really don't know what to do with myself. As I was working today, I got to thinking about Christmas traditions. Ya see...we really don't have any. I mean we have things we do on Christmas and Christmas Eve...but nothing I would call a tradition.
Then I realized that I don't really have anything I want as a tradition. I sort of like that it is up in the air and I am not locked into any mold that cannot be broken. So my question to you is...

What are your traditions...do you like them...and why???

I guess that is three questions.

I would love to hear from you. Even you lurkers out there...Ya Stacie E...I mean you.

Kid Speak...

(Context - John and I are listening from another room while the kids play together)

Breena - "and my superpower will be indivisability!"

John to me - she doesn't allow things to be divided? Who is her nemesis going to be?

Me to John - The evil fractal and his side kick subtraction

John to me - YES! and their henchmen... the lowest common denominators!

The crazy economy

I couple of days ago my husband and I were out shopping for Christmas. We were at a local store getting a few last things for family members. As we checked out, the sales clerk hesitantly asked if we would like to donate to a charity that the store was sponsoring. She asked and then braced herself as if she was about to be either hit or at least verbally abused. It was subtle, but both John and I noticed it. We indicated that we would like to donate. Her response was "You do?" It is hard to convey the level of amazement in her voice. She was so shocked that we were willing to do this. When we got to the car, John commented about her reaction. It was so obvious to both of us that she had probably been told no...likely many times with an angry rant about the economy. It was also sad that so many people don't understand how much they must do these things...this year especially.
I am in no way and expert on the economy. I don't presume to have all the answers, but I do understand cause and effect. You see...if no one is buying anything...stores are not selling anything...which means people are not needed to sell anything...which means said people are not able to earn money to buy anything. It is a very vicious cycle. People loose jobs and we hear doom and gloom, so everyone starts holding back their money, then more people loose their jobs, then the government start taxing those of us with jobs to help those whom have not, so those with jobs who now must pay higher taxes spend even less...and more people loose their jobs. So...here is my thoughts on how to improve the economy... and it is nothing new.

If you got it...spend it.

Donate to the same charities that you give to every year. In fact, if you have a stable job and money to spend, count yourself lucky and give more than you would normally. My husbands company laid off 300 employees a couple of weeks ago. Thankfully we were not among them. We have counted our blessing ever since.
Now I am not advocating going hog wild and blindly spending what you do not have. No way. That is primarily what got us all in this problem to begin with. What I am saying is, don't hold back. If you have been waiting all year for "Dark Knight" to come out...go get it. When you grocery shop...buy the Oreos...just go ahead and buy them. The stocker will appreciate the job security. When you go out to eat...get the dessert...even if you have to take it home to eat later. Tip well if you can. The governement can try and fix this, but if the citizens don't put money into the economy...there will be no economy.
So...pay your bills, put a little in savings, and then spend what is left. It is more fun that way!